It is that time of year where we let others know how much we love them.

But what about learning how to love ourselves?

I believe that, in today’s day and age, this has been a concept that so many people have struggled with.

With ads, social media and community judgment, it becomes very difficult to see the good things about oneself.

Loving yourself is very important and I feel that our children are robbed of even the mere opportunity to do that.

Our society dictates what is lovable and what is not.

And this is sad.

Every person on this planet deserves to be loved and to love themself for who they are – not for who our society wants us to be.

That’s why I believe that this article is so important.

Our children need all of the positive guidance towards self-love that they can get!

And you can be just the person to teach them how to see their most beautiful self!

1. Love Yourself, First!

It is really hard to tell someone else that they should love themself when we do not even love our own selves to begin with!

Remember, you want to be genuine in your teachings and guidance with your child.

Take some time to think about all of the things that you love about yourself!

Is there something that you are really good at?

Is there something about yourself that really stands out?

When you look in the mirror, what feature do you like the best about the person staring back at you?

It is so easy to point out the things that we hate.

And we are so quick to sulk about those things.

Make a list of the positive qualities on paper, your phone, or just in your head.

This will help you to uncover and to recognize the extraordinary parts about yourself!

Here, I will give it a go first:

For me, I love that I can fold sheets into a nice, neat pile!

Not many people can do that! 

I also love that I can make my kids laugh even though I tend to have a more serious personality.

It makes me so happy when I can get them to smile!

When I look in the mirror, I love my nose.

It is not too little and not too big for my face!

Now, you try!

What do you love about yourself???

2. Put your Love on Display!

As children get older and they hear about how you hate this or that about yourself, they will start to do the same.

It is great to point out areas of yourself that you need to work on.

But just as important is to point out the areas of yourself that you like, as well!

For example, you may actually be really good at playing baseball!

Make sure that your child knows that you love that about yourself.

You do not have to come across as uppity and conceited about it!

Make it fun and simple!

Just openly acknowledge that you know that about yourself.

You can do this by combining an unfavorable view with a positive one!

For example:

“You know, even though I have a hard time catching the ball, I sure can hit it out of the park!”

What if you are great at putting together puzzles, but have a hard time doing word searches?

You can say something as this:

“I sure do have a tough time doing word searches, but I love that I can put together puzzles so quickly!”

Try a combination like this for yourself right now!

Hear yourself say it!

How does it feel to acknowledge something great about yourself?

Mark Your Love by What You Do!

Just as much as your child hearing you say that you love these things about yourself, it is important for your child to visually see this, as well!

Let’s go back to the baseball example:

You could hang up a couple of pictures in your room of you hitting the baseball!

Or display the first ball that you hit!

You do not have to go all out!

Just mark this love about yourself in a simple way that your child can visually see.

Let’s go back to the puzzle example now.

Perhaps your child can watch you play a game where you time yourself to see how fast you can actually put together a puzzle!

You can brag about your successful time for a bit (Just for a bit – don’t get too crazy here!)

Or you can glue and frame one or two of your most favorite puzzles and display them in your room.

Remember, the goal here is not to be cocky about our talents or features, but to simply acknowledge that they are qualities that we love about ourselves!

3. Help Your Child!

You have steps one and two down to a tee and you have been role modeling these for your child.


Now it is time to help your child do the same!

Sit down with your child and make a list.

Make it a visual one!

You can jot it down on paper, type it into your phone, draw pictures or make a collage from magazines/personal photos.

No matter how you two decide to recognize the loveable things, make it fun!

When your child has a visual, they can have a reminder!

There will be so many days when your child may feel down about themself.

These visuals will be great reminders of all of the beautiful qualities, and you can help your child to refocus on that!

Talk about it after and even have your child share with other family or friends.

Find a place to display the project so that it is easy to spot and review.

Teach the talk!

Help your child to practice verbalizing those positive qualities!

Remember how we just learned to do that for ourselves?


You can teach your child to express those same features the same way!

Ask your child about a quality that they like about themself.

Then, help your child to phrase it so that they can express it aloud!

Say your child says that he loves that he can do well at the highest level of a video game but has a hard time with the latest video game.

You can help your child learn to say:

“Even though I need more practice with the latest video game, I sure can kick butt at the top level of the other video games!”

Unfortunately, kids are prone to learning to nit-pick about their bodily features at a young age.

Ask your child what bodily feature about themself is loved the most.

Then, help to phrase it.

For instance, say your child likes her naturally curly hair, but can’t stand her green eyes!

You can teach the following:

“Even though I prefer a different eye color, I sure do love my naturally curly hair!”

If you can help your child to identify and verbalize the positive qualities, then it may help to change those thinking habits, too!

4. Remind Your Child

Even though you have taught your child these strategies, there will still be some tough days.

Your child may come home from school crying because someone made fun of the dimple on their chin.

Or maybe the neighborhood kids laughed at the way that they run.

Talk to your child about how there will always be someone to say something mean.

Because, in the real world, this is true!

No matter how old they are or how nice they try to be, they are pretty much guaranteed to encounter someone who will hurt them this way.

Talk about how people often say mean things because they do not feel good about themselves.

People who are mean to others are often very disappointed or sad about themselves.

They usually have low self-esteem, even though they may appear to be very confident.

In a sense, our heart should go out to them.

Because they were never taught to see the lovable side of themselves and to recognize that everyone is lovingly different and unique.

When you can help your child to look at it from that perspective, it may help to make the hurt lighter and the situation less intense.

Remind your child that, what matters, is how your child feels about themself!

Pull out the visual that you made!

Go over the self-talk!

And make sure that you point out all of the great qualities that you love about your child!

When you can teach your child to love their very special self, then you give your child an incredible gift!

Here are some other great tools for helping your child recognize their own greatness!




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